Sexiled: Don’t be a Victim

University student in libraryIt’s Thursday night. While your friends are out celebrating Thirsty Thursday, you are stuck in the library. You have a Biology midterm first thing in the morning. You have just spent the past twelve hours buried in your textbooks and finally feel confident in the material. You are ready to ace the exam. You make your way back to your dorm desiring a few hours of rest before the big test.

You enter your room and hear noises from your roommates bed. You look over to see your roommate and her boyfriend in the heat of the moment getting a little too cozy for comfort. Your first reaction may be to ignore them and pass out in your own bed. But, your roommate notices you and demands you leave immediately. You have been blocked from your own room.

You have been sexiled.

Sexiling is a growing trend in college dormitories. According to, to sexile means “to banish a roommate from the room, dorm, or apartment for the purposes of engaging in intimate relations with one’s significant other or sex partner.”

Sexiling happens every night in dorm rooms. Whether you are doing the sexiling or getting sexiled, you need to talk it out with your roommate and learn to live with it. The three simple steps below will assist you and your roommate in a sexile living condition.

Step 1: Communication

Communication, communication, communication. Talk with your roommates to work out a policy and a back-up plan if sexiling is going to happen. The earlier the warning, the better. Let your roommate know as soon as you have any indication that a visitor will be in your bed. Be as polite as possible; and follow the golden rule “treat others the way you would want to be treated.”

Step 2: Use a signal

The old sock on the door trick still works. No one wants to walk in on their roommate in the sheets with a partner. That can burn retinas and scar people for life. If you plan on having a nightly visitor, text our roommate and confirm that they have received the message. Some roommates leave a sign on the front door, or even lock the door. Locking the door will definitely keep out intruders, and it will also cause anger in your roommate. Every roommate should have a back- up plan of where they can spend the night. A neighbor with an extra couch or blow- up mattress can be incredibly helpful. If all else, the student lounge usually has a few couches.

Step 3: The Morning After

Sexiling should not be ignored. It can mount up to problems and if not addressed properly, can continue to occur. The roommate who did the sexiling has a few things to clean up. First of all, they need to apologize and communicate with the roommate who was left in the cold all night. Before that roommate returns, the room should be free of any leftover clothes or reminders. The roommate knows what happened, don’t shove it in their face. Be as gracious as possible to keep the roommate friendship alive.

Sexiling is an issue that all roommates should address. It might be funny at first; however, it is not funny when you are cold and locked out of your room. Open communications and have a back- up plan for when one roommate needs the room to themselves. College is a learning experience and it is best to keep an open mind during all circumstances.



  1. Wonder if sexiling is legal since one paid for the right to use the room.

  2. Wonder if one has the legal right to lock out their own roommate.

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