Are You and Your Roommate Arguing Again?

“My classes are not so hard; I am just stressed because of my roommate again!” Some variation of this sentence is repeated on college campuses time and time again. Two peers living together will inevitably have disagreements. You only have a problem when those arguments begin to happen over and over again. Here are a few tips on how to resolve the issue peacefully.

Why are you upset?

This question may seem obvious, but the truth is that you may be displacing your own stress on your roommate. They are right there every day, and it is easy to view them as the source of your aggravation or anxiety. Closely look at the situation and ask yourself why you are truly upset. Is it because your roommate’s music was too loud while you tried to sleep last night? Or, is it really because you should have been studying instead of sleeping? This kind of observation may be found through looking at the situation from your roommate’s perspective. Did they really not do their dishes again? Or, were they slammed with homework that week and just forgot? Sometimes taking a second look at the situation shows there was no reason to stress in the first place.

Talk to your roommate

If you have assessed the problem, and there is still a stress point, then just talk to your roommate about it. Talking to everyone but your roommate could lead to you being more frustrated or hurting your roommate’s feelings. Going to your roommate and laying out the situation will let them know a problem of which they may not be aware. Their music was too loud? Maybe they were not even aware it bothered you. They had friends over while you were studying for a really big exam? They could possibly not have known that such irritated you. Open communication is crucial to a happy dorm experience.

Talk to an authority

You may have figured out that there is a real problem and have even talked to your roommate about it. But you are still arguing about the same issue over and over again. This is the time to bring in someone other than a peer. Your RA (resident assistant) should be readily available to talk with you. They can give you suggestions on where to go from there. As an upperclassman, they have been in your situation and can give you advice. They can also facilitate a conversation between you and your roommate while providing outside perspective. If this option does not solve the problem, then take the issue up the chain of the command through your RA.

Finding a new roommate should be your last resort. Most arguments are truly miscommunications somewhere along the line. Start by talking to your roommate, and they may surprise you.